http://bash.org/ Quote Database Home http://bash.org/?928168 <Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.
<@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.
<Xnoia> I do.
<@RWolf> did.
<Xnoia> Damn it!]]> http://bash.org/?927751 <rdubyaj> was really dusty
<rdubyaj> and someone had written on it "I wish my wife was this dirty"
<rdubyaj> and underneath that someone else had written "she is"]]> http://bash.org/?927499 <GOD|away> WHITE POWDER!]]> http://bash.org/?926695 Agnostos> I don't believe I have. care to explain the details?
Aquillar> dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/kmem bs=1 count=1 seek=$RANDOM
Aquillar> keep executing until system crashes
Aquillar> person that crashes system has to buy beer
Agnostos> lol
Agnostos> I wonder if I can sneak that into a server startup script here.]]> http://bash.org/?926627 <Javelin> My.
<Javelin> God.
<Javelin> We have a unit here.  It's about the size of a small speaker.
<Javelin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER."
<Javelin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?"
<Javelin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..."
<Javelin> Next thing I hear:  *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
<Javelin> Now they're pissed at ME.
<Javelin> Because THEY couldn't read.
<Javelin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher."
<Javelin> I hate people.]]> http://bash.org/?926566 <MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick]]> http://bash.org/?926559 < Stalin> and then send them instructions on how to amputate one of their legs]]> http://bash.org/?926329 <Nerd> o
<Nerd> 0
<Nerd> 8
<Nerd> oo]]> http://bash.org/?925919 http://bash.org/?925847 <luckyest> he committed suicide by jumping off during a performance two months ago.
<livin> maybe he was a bit *imbalanced*
<luckyest> you're a dick, you know that right?]]> http://bash.org/?925835 http://bash.org/?925793 <Rei> who died in an oil spill because of bp, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!]]> http://bash.org/?925789 http://bash.org/?925768 <p5Ds13a06> you can't buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free]]> http://bash.org/?925516 <guyman> lol
<Deviant> so your mom must have dced when she gave birth to you
<khagin> lmao]]> http://bash.org/?925509 <PowerBuddy> Gotta learn harder >.<
<RoznaM> Less porn, more chicks.
<Gper> Hej, Z, what's yours?
<Ziame> Thought about 1280x960]]> http://bash.org/?925507 <Choonsen> What is?
<windAd> I set my password for my new keylogger program once it was up and running, got distracted by cooking ramen, came back and forgot the password
<Choonsen> Shit dude... you're retarded
<windAd> Noo, its all okay... I just went into the log files and found out what I typed while in the program. Two minutes later I now know that my password was 'ramenalmostdone']]> http://bash.org/?925505 <biznatch> It's like you have this talking horse
and the talking horse says "I'm thirsty"
then you lead the horse to some water
and it still won't drink.
<PVicky> Simple solution: slaughter it for the meat.]]> http://bash.org/?925495 <moot> lol
<dux0r> cause uve got like
<dux0r> a pee utensil
<dux0r> in ur mouth
<dux0r> like a chunky hotdog
<moot> xD
<dux0r> what a weird thought
<sudo> your penis is like a chunky hotdog?]]> http://bash.org/?925493 http://bash.org/?925490 < that_guy> on a related note do you realize how creepy 'hot nieces' sounds?]]> http://bash.org/?925489 <th0r> ah, fuck alcohol >.< one of the worst materials we ever created
<+fuji@2ch> He spent awhile sitting alone in the house with no food and few hundred scotch bottles.
<th0r> That's crazy... how's everything now?
<+fuji@2ch> He basically fried out his brain,and went crazy and started building a fort in the middle of a busy street.
<th0r> ... what? Seriously?
<+fuji@2ch> yeah, no kidding.
<th0r> That sounds more like something a paranoid schizophrenic would do...
<+fuji@2ch> Yeah, well maybe there's some other issues going on.]]> http://bash.org/?925464 <yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda. 
<yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
<yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing.  The timing on that was impeccable.]]> http://bash.org/?925461 Draketh: and I don't really regret it even though it was a decision made totally under the influence
Finn: ...
Draketh: so we're sitting around another fire blowing things up since it's the 4th and drinking, I walk over and sit down and the topic is piercings so we start talking, eventually it shifts to genital piercings
Finn: ...
Draketh: I mentioned always being interested in a prince albert, and this girl that was there that was like a friend of one of my cousins friends or some shit
shes like "I work at a piercing parlor, I have all my shit in the car I can totally do that right now"
Draketh: It was legit, like steralized tools in sealed packages and everything, bowl of alcohol to soak the tools in, she wore gloves.
Draketh: It was like being at a piercing parlor
Draketh: Except I was in a big ass comfy patio chair with a bottle of Makers
Finn: I just.... I don't think I could ever let someone shove anything through my penis
Draketh: actually I think it's gonna be hilarious
Draketh: like I have no tattoo's, no other piercings and then like BAM "Suprise!"
Draketh: it's like opening the plain brown wrapped gift on Christmas, and instead of a sweater it's a new laptop
Draketh: see, the laptop is my dick
Finn: .... just.... wow]]> http://bash.org/?925453 <<UT> ho//\rzd>  you tell me where your sentence ends, that would help. ;D
<F3AR | Bailey> i
<F3AR | Bailey> broke
<F3AR | Bailey> my
<F3AR | Bailey> space
<F3AR | Bailey> bar
<F3AR | Bailey> lol]]> http://bash.org/?925452 <+chaosisorder> Like Duke Nukem Forever?
<TheM-netbook> haha
<TheM-netbook> god is vaporware]]> http://bash.org/?925399 <kurogane> "The Chicago researcher (who confessed to herself being an A-cup), conducted a sociological study in which she took a sample of 1,200 women, divided by breast size into five categories: extra-large, large, medium, small, and extra-small.
<kurogane> who funds these 'studies'
<CindiK> Juggs magazine
<kurogane> is that a science journal?]]> http://bash.org/?925050 < Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon
< Andys> eg.   :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"]]> http://bash.org/?924892 <AnnoDomini> It's actually the British.
<Outpost> yeah, you'd think British Petroleum would've made that known.
<AnnoDomini> See, Americans dumped English tea into Boston Bay.
<AnnoDomini> The British, after biding their time for 237 years, have struck back.
<AnnoDomini> YOUR MOVE, AMERICA.
<Outpost> ...I am so in love with you right now.]]> http://bash.org/?924578 http://bash.org/?924371 < n1lqj> Unlike AT&T the oil spill is guaranteed to cover everyone]]> http://bash.org/?922982 lemonlimeskull: This huge African American dude sits across from me at the booth. Plenty of tables around, of course, since this is Hardee's.
lemonlimeskull: Since I don't usually have uninvited guests at fast food restaurants, I'm naturally a bit put off while simultaniously wondering what the deal is.
lemonlimeskull: The guy goes "Hey, man what you do for a living?"
lemonlimeskull: I must've looked really confused, but I manage to answer "Game designer... Why?"
lemonlimeskull: The guy sits there for a good thirty seconds, looking out the window over my shoulder.
lemonlimeskull: Then he finally looks me straight on and says "Good, lemme ask you a question..."
lemonlimeskull: "Why don't Pacman wanna eat eyes?"
lemonlimeskull: I just gave him this really quizzical look, then he gets up and leaves.
lemonlimeskull: After a few seconds of wondering wtf that was all about, I look out the window over my shoulder and see about five police cars slowly driving off into the distance.
lemonlimeskull: The worst part is...... WHY doesn't Pacman wanna eat eyes?!]]> http://bash.org/?922730 <fantasyprone> Flibberdy, try being the one bleeding from a very private crevice
<fantasyprone> believe me it sucks at least as much for her as for you
<Flibberdy> fantasyprone: Oh, she hates it too, don't get me wrong. Honestly I'm glad it's over for her sake not mine
<Flibberdy> Left her bed bound quite a few days
<fantasyprone> though it does entertain me to play war paint in the shower
<fantasyprone> BLOOD EVERYWHERE WOO]]> http://bash.org/?921792 <Thomas> why do they have milk and eggs inside them?]]> http://bash.org/?921445 <+DarthWario> He made me uninstall xchat. So it's back to mibbit.
<+DarthWario> He installed iTunes on my laptop so my mum could register her iPhone (as my proper computers iTunes is fucked. By his own hand, no less.) and he saw the xchat and mIRC icons on my screen. He called them 'dirty' and made me uninstall them.
<&Azathoth> he called them..dirty?
<+TomBrend_> IRC is a dirty dirty place...wretched hive of scum and villany if I've ever seen one.]]> http://bash.org/?921435 Mick: yeah because that was in the top 20 of worst wiring jobs
Mick: nothign will beat number 1
Milamber: no. 1?
Mick: ooh that was amazing
Mick: it was a corolla
Mick: painted blue and red with housepaint outside
Mick: with green wheels
Mick: inside was painted blue with rattlecans including the seats
Mick: there was rubbish and rotten food on the ground as high as the bottom of the seat
Mick: the radio was a tape player that he wanted replaced with a clarion cd tuner
Mick: tape player was held in with winnie blue cig packets, some bandaids and chewing gum
Mick: to get the old one out they had smashed the dash
Mick: it was wired up with bits of house wire and extension cords
Mick: they had hacked a hole in the firewall to run the power for the radio straight off the start motor
Mick: which the wiries were sticky taped onto the starter motor
Mick: the speakers in the back were sitting on the shelf being held in by just the force of their own magnets as it had no parcelshelf
Milamber: woooooow did you just tell him where to stick it?
Mick: I threw up from the smell in the car on the workshop floor
Mick: gene had to help me up
Mick: he called the customer who was told to go home and burn the car
Milamber: ROFL]]> http://bash.org/?921418 <+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
<+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
<+Merrick> I HATE IT
<+FDR> are you a priest?
<+Merrick> No an altar boy]]> http://bash.org/?921416 Phil: But he's the industry standard.
David: and runs much faster
Phil: He has to be able to run fast, he's a pedophile.]]> http://bash.org/?921395 <Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her learners permit because she had used both hands to change gears.]]> http://bash.org/?921355 reconnection: ... that was when they started locking doors]]> http://bash.org/?921297 <Mike> Anyways, I am studying with my friend beside me and I see Skype on my computer start ringing. I didn't want to answer with my computer so I picked up my cellphone and told my friend "One second, taking a phone call" without thinking about it.
<Mike> My phone rings 1 second later, I answer it, walk out of the room.
<Mike> Didn't realize how much of a psychic hero I looked like to my friend until I left the room. Looked at my friend through the window who is sitting like O_O]]> http://bash.org/?921147 <+ajanata> tdfischer: I would think the proper analogy is they finally flushed the buffer the check was in :p
<+ajanata> caching the check would make things worse
<@tdfischer> 'doh
<@tdfischer> thats a pretty awesome typo]]> http://bash.org/?921144 bp: srsly my neck felt weird so i felt it and my collar was popped without any physical intervention from me
esch: you have a douchebag poltergeist]]> http://bash.org/?921134 SpaceInvader455: That's one slow fuckin missile.]]> http://bash.org/?921122 <kwistlebear> wht?
<sho3boy_kixx> I can't jelly my cock down your throat]]> http://bash.org/?920557 <Spoons>no, im fucking 15 year olds ;]]]> http://bash.org/?920525 <bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer]]> http://bash.org/?920473 lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass.
lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them - same location at the same time.
lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more mellow.
lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.]]> http://bash.org/?920468 <genida> IDTL, that's very often a warning sign.
<genida> "Girls will be there." = "Girls will be laughing in your face..."
<Malikat> when girls laugh
<Malikat> their breasts jiggle.
<Malikat> everyone wins.
<IDTL> oh man I never thought of that
<IDTL> What if they are flatchested?
<Malikat> then they shouldn't be happy
<Malikat> they probably won't be happy
<Malikat> in fact, flat chested women never laugh at a party
<Malikat> because they know no man will ever love them.]]> http://bash.org/?920453 <&||bass> i'm searching for how to do something in java
<&||bass> i just checked in google
<&||bass> you know what the results are?
<&||bass> me posting in various forms asking how to fucking do it]]>